When the Music Stops…

My Musings Today:

I have been on the shelf. Again.

I mentioned to a dear friend not too long ago that I suddenly realized that God had, once again, placed me on the shelf. Sometimes over the years, when life has just become too hard or I was at the end of myself, God has put me in His safe place as a shelter from the present storm.

This time has been six months of mostly quiet.

  • A place to ponder this next stage of life.
  • A place to consider how it is even possible to live this widowlife with excellence and intentionality.

Many tears, much prayer, and an abundance of studying and learning have brought me to this day. The current pandemic has actually worked to my personal benefit in providing that place for me.

In case you are new around here, welcome! We are walking together to discover what intentionality looks like no matter what age, stage of life, or circumstances we find ourselves living out. Just to help you catch up this is my first blog post on Mrs Vans Musings since May, 2020.

  • Our family suffered a great loss in November 2019 and I wrote about that in these two posts if you would like to know the back story to today.

I have been debating, again, how to connect life before Mr. Van went to heaven and these next years. As I have said before, this is not a new life, but it is the NEXT stage in my own journey towards eternal life in heaven with Jesus.

The years have come and gone since I first sang Your song and oh how sweet the melody was then. But now I find myself silent on the shelf wondering why the music had to die. Lord, tell me why it had to end.

When the Music Stops, Parschauer Sisters, 1984

God brought this song to mind this morning and that led to memories of the first time I realized that He had put me on the shelf. I had recently made a very public re-commitment to love and follow this God I believe in with all my heart, soul, mind and strength forever. I would have been thirty-four years old at this time.

  • I attended a Ladies Retreat with some dear friends. There was a concert by The Parschauer Sisters, and they sang this song, “When the Music Stops”.
  • I had been in a season of health issues and had just had another surgery six weeks before this retreat. I was tired of needles and hospitals and being so weary all the time. I seemed to just recover and then something else would happen. My life seemed to be in a holding pattern of sickness and quietness.
  • As the trio sang these words, it was as if God said to me, “It’s ok. I’ll always be close by. I’ll hold you fast to Myself. I’ll show you the next step.” And He has. And He is. And He will.

“Teach me, Lord, to wait. I know You’re never late. For You are always keeping perfect time. And though I cannot see why or what will be, I will trust in You until Your song is through. Lord, help me rest in Your design.”

When the Music Stops, Parschauer Sisters, 1984

Recently I was asked to share with our church family why I believe Jesus is My Coming King. I stated that I cannot argue with God about the timing of Mr. Van’s death as I do believe, as it tells me in Psalm 90:12 in the Bible that our days are numbered. Mr. Van’s time on earth was complete. But mine is not. And my unfinished task is to live out the journey God has for me until He calls me home to heaven.

Does that mean that acceptance comes easily? Not at all.

Does that mean I don’t miss Mr. Van like crazy? Not at all.

Does that mean I am not fearful sometimes about growing older alone? Not at all.

BUT…

God is faithful. He asked me, shortly after Mr. Van passed away, if I was willing to be open and vulnerable about my grief and loss. To write as I share the journey. To encourage anyone who is willing to read and ponder that it is possible to live a life of intention as we prepare for eternity. We all have a choice every morning as we wake up.

SO…

Your Musings Today:

May I leave you with the words of the chorus to this song that meant just as much to me this morning as I went looking online for the words and the music as it did over thirty years ago?

Perhaps you’d like to walk with us as you face whatever your grief and loss circumstances are right now? See more info below about how to do that…

  • We are entering a renewed time on earth as we see hope in the pandemic ending.
  • We are entering a renewed time of assessing values and priorities and how we spend our time.
  • We are entering a renewed time of relationship where hugs are allowed (oh, my!) and we can host people in our home again…

Not quite yet—but soon. Let’s make the most of the time that God allows us, however that might look for each one of us individually.

I look forward to sharing with you all more of how God has taught me to be intentional.

Blessings on you, my friends! I leave you with these words:

“When the music stops don’t think that it’s the end for I am only giving You a rest.

When the music stops BE STILL AND KNOW my friend that I, the Lord, am doing what is best.”

When The Music Stops, Parschauer Sisters, 1984

Want to come and join us on this walk that will never end? We’d love to have you.

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The post When the Music Stops… appeared first on colleenvannieuwkerk.com.

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