A Gentle Unfolding

My Musings Today

Yesterday was the day that marked twenty-three months since Mr. Van left us to enter heaven.

I mentioned in my last post, The LORD is My Pacesetter, that it has been a tough few weeks as a fresh wave of deeper grief arrived to visit again. There are a few reasons why but my take-away is that God is still kind and so faithful to see my tears, to hear my cries to Him, and to carry me through each hard day.

I don’t share this with you because I am full of self-pity or martyrdom.

I do share this to say that if you, too, are in a season of grief for any reason (and there are many reasons right now to be grieving) our God is waiting for all of us to just turn to Him and tell Him all about it.

This week a sweet memory came up on Facebook of Mr. Van in “Bob, the Bobcat” (we tend to name our equipment in our family) and Grandson #6 who was about twenty-one months at the time. He is now nine years old. Grandpa was giving him a ride because he was so enthralled with “Bob”. Part of the sweetness was in the fact that Mr. Van’s voice was recorded in the video. Here they are in the back yard “working”.

Those Facebook memories can do me in…

I think that one of the hardest parts of grieving the loss of someone dear to us is the processing of how to go on living life when they are absent. I cannot argue with God about His whisking Mr. Van away all those months ago. And…

  • I do believe that our days are numbered and his were up. He was not well even though God chose not to let us know about that ahead of time. Psalm 90:12 tells us that we are to ask God to teach us to number our days so that we can gain a heart of wisdom.
  • I do believe that God knows “who” and “what” I need to live out the days He still has planned for me. This concept has been a hard place to come to as I have processed how to live well without my husband and best friend. 2 Peter 1:3 says that God’s divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our calling to know Him, not just about Him. This applies to every life situation, every life stage.
  • I do believe that I have a lot of processing to do re what my future could look like. Working through all of this is difficult. Mr. Van and I lived together through forty-six years of marriage and our desire was, as it says in Acts 17:24-28, to find the places where we belong that God has created and prepared for us to live and move and have our being. His place is now in heaven! Mine is still here on earth.

As I have now been considering all of this for a few months, God has brought some direction and clarity. He has used several encouraging ways to bring me back full circle “to stay in the day” and “to just do the next right thing”, but also to be able to take a deep breath and begin to look ahead.

MY ONE WORD

For the past several years God has been showing me where I need to focus for the next while by pointing out a word or a phrase repeatedly that seems to direct to the next right thing. This word might show up in my Bible or book reading. It could be sung over and over in a song. Or it could come out of a sermon, a blog post, or a podcast I heard.

I am going to share my “One-Word Journey” with you in some future posts, but today I want to give you a glimpse into this year’s word which is “Unfolding.”

I have been asking God to continue to gently unfold my moments and my days one at a time.” He has been faithful to do that for me by:

  • Giving me Scripture to memorize and cling to–

Psalm 119:130, The unfolding of Your words gives light; it imparts understanding to the simple.

Proverbs 31:25,26, Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the days to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

2 Chronicles 20:12b, We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on You.

  • Giving me a song by Steven Curtis Chapman called “Glorious Unfolding”.

Just listen to what I’m whispering to your heart ‘cause I know this is not anything like you thought the story of your life was gonna be… There’s so much of the story that’s still yet to unfold…”

  • Giving me courage to practice “surrender and trust” as He unfolds each day, teaching me again to begin to laugh at the days to come.

To live a life of widowhood with excellence.

To begin to thrive instead of just survive.

To continue to prepare for Phase 2 of my eternal life (more about that to come as well).

These past few weeks have shown me again that I must choose to let God direct my steps into each day as there are still many difficult ones. Everyone grieves at their own pace and that is as it should be.

Your Musings Today

There seems to be a lot of grief, sadness, and pain surrounding us all at this time.

As I mentioned above, you may be someone who is struggling in a season of grief for many reasons.

May I invite you:

  • To consider who or what is your source of comfort? As you consider your faith and God as your Audience of One, please know that He loves you, He waits for you to come to Him to supply all your needs, and He longs to give you that comfort and direction to cope with all that life offers you right now.
  • To check out @mollclarissa on Instagram if you are in a season of losing someone close to you. She is a wise woman who has such good insight into grief and loss.
  • To ask God for a One Word or phrase to help you to focus more clearly on your next steps. No matter what age or stage of life we are encountering presently, He has wisdom and direction for us in our own unique journey.

Again, be encouraged as you ponder:

  • On next beginnings.
  • On embracing your own life fully and intentionally.
  • On living out that life with the strength and dignity that can only come from your Audience of One.

We would love to have you walk that journey with us as we all learn together!

Love to you today,

Colleen

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The LORD is My Pace Setter

Happy Friday morning, friends!

MY MUSINGS TODAY:

Fall is the season for new beginnings. Our fall season is about to turn into early winter here in the north as the temperatures begin to fall and our gardens are fast fading for this year. I just cleaned off my balcony and settled it in to wait for whatever Christmas décor I decide to use.

I love new beginnings. I love the fall season. I love fall colors.

My home and my wardrobe all reflect that love.

I also love school and I love learning. I guess I am what you would call a life-long learner.

Many years ago (almost 50!) I attended one year of Bible School at Prairie Bible Institute (now called Prairie College) in Three Hills, Alberta. I had just graduated from high school.

Leaving home for the first time became a huge learning experience. Living in the dorm, juggling many classes and assignments, eating communal meals in the Dining Hall, and attending chapel several times a week in Prairie Tabernacle were all great ways to begin to grow up… It was so good but also was lonely and hard at times.

Sometime during that year I walked by a bulletin board and this poem, which is a Japanese Version of Psalm 23, caught my eye. I was feeling discouraged about completing all my class assignments, and feeling homesick for my family and friends. The overwhelm of being a student was very real in my mind and heart that day.

Psalm 23 is a song of comfort which tells us that our Shepherd, Jehovah-Rohi, will be with us as He cares, provides, guides and protects us. The words in this paraphrase of the psalm brought such comfort to me that I copied it down and have kept it close for these fifty years that have passed by.

These past few weeks have again been hard as a fresh wave of grief washed over me unexpectedly. That is how grief works—we just never know when it will decide to visit again. The words to this Psalm came to mind and I went searching for the words online and found them!

YOUR MUSINGS TODAY:

I don’t know how you are doing with all that is going on in your own heart, in your family, and in the world around you, wherever you are, but I do know that we all need truth to cling to in these days.

My hope and my prayer for you would be that these words, so simple and yet profound, would bring you the comfort and care of the One who longs to shepherd you through this time and on into eternity.

Be encouraged as you ponder:

  • On new beginnings.
  • On embracing your own life fully and intentionally.
  • On living out that life with the strength and dignity that can only come from your Audience of One.

We would love to have you walk that journey with us as we all learn together!

You can sign up to receive encouragement in that walk at Mrs Vans Musings. To receive current updates in your inbox, just click on the Email Request button below. We promise to honor your privacy.

Have a great week!

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Enlarging Our Life

Good afternoon, my friends! It is another lovely fall day here in northern Alberta. The sun is shining out of a blue sky. The beautiful autumn leaves are amazing this year and are just beginning to fall to the ground. I was out for a walk around the lake in our old neighborhood one day last week with a dear friend. It was good to enjoy the beauty, the fresh air and to watch the geese on the water.

Reframing that Shrinks

It has again been awhile since I wrote my last post, Reframing Wisely. In that post I shared how life had downsized in many ways as I am learning to adjust to this widowhood life. I have walked through making many important decisions about the many facets of life I have never before faced alone.

“Reframing means keeping what is important but wisely refiguring as necessary.” Jean Fleming

We talked about how we need to come to an initial place of choosing what is most important to us (what we value) and then living according to what we decide (establishing priorities). No matter what age we are, or what stage of life we are exiting or entering, there will be reframing required.

Our intention influences values which are attached to areas of our life such as our time with God; entering marriage; birthing children and growing them up; our health and personal care; and our work responsibilities. As we reach life stages of young adult, mid-life and then our senior years, there are many challenges that require cooperation and trusting God in new ways.

“Reframing…always requires creativity, humility, and surrender to the imposed limits.” Jean Fleming

Caleb, the Ironman

Jean Fleming, the author of “Pursue the Intentional Life”, wrote about a man in the Bible named Caleb who had to choose to reframe his life as well. She called him, Caleb, the Ironman.

  • Caleb was one of the twelve spies who went into the land to survey what God had promised to them as the Israelite nation. He gave good leadership, alongside Joshua, about conquering that land. He stood strong when the people wanted to kill those who were encouraging them to follow God’s leading and to fight for the territory. In the end, God did not allow any of those who had rebelled against Himself to enter the land, but Caleb and Joshua were among those able to enter. (Book of Numbers, Chapter 13, in your Bible)
  • Caleb was forty years old when he served as a spy, and he was eight-five years old when they finally arrived at that land God had promised them. Joshua 14:10,11 says,

“And now, behold, the LORD has kept me alive, just as he said, these forty-five years since the time that the LORD spoke this word to Moses, while Israel walked in the wilderness. And now, behold, I am this day eighty-five years old. I am still as strong today as I was in the day Moses sent me; my strength now is as my strength was then, for war and for going and coming.”

  • Caleb believed God’s promise and lived his life faithfully as he waited out those forty-five years.

Reframing that Leads to Enlarged Territory

Jean mentioned, in talking about Caleb, that “God doesn’t rescind His promises or His call because of advanced years.”

There are those times through the years where there may be loss of our people, our health, or our ministry that we love, and so our territory is changed and diminished. But there are also times when God asks us to step out and up as He desires to enlarge our territory for a time along the way.

  • Caleb chose to face the reality of his life. God had kept him healthy and strong over those additional forty-five years for a specific purpose. And he was ready to do what God had planned for him—to receive his land and to conquer the people who presently owned it and so take possession. He went ahead and conquered Hebron but then he promised his daughter in marriage to the man who could conquer the next area. He was wise in possibly looking to pass the responsibility of battle along to someone younger as he stepped aside.
My Musings:

I have been thinking a lot about the times in my life when God asked me to shrink or contract my focus by either “sitting on the shelf” for awhile or decreasing my responsibilities. There have also been opportunities to expand my focus and assume new positions of leadership which stretched me to depend more deeply on God as I used my spiritual gifts He designed for me.

We will talk about some of those amazing times as we walk together, but for today I would like to say that accepting a new assignment from God always involves taking a risk that could include vulnerability, woundedness and sorrow, as well as wonder, surrender, and joy.

God recently showed me one of my “next right things” in allowing me to join a Writing Mastermind. The ad came up in July and I felt drawn to it. I have followed Ann Swindell with Writing With Grace for a few years. She offers a Mastermind, and also teaches other writing courses throughout the year, all online.

I decided to apply for the current year and asked God to show me His will as far as my writing goes by giving me an acceptance into the group. This was a big step for me. I don’t always ask God to reveal His will by a direct “yes or no”, but I did this time. When I received the email telling me that I was accepted, I was a crying mess. God so clearly gave me His answer, and I am humbled. I have a lot to learn, and I am excited to pursue whatever it is that God has for me in this next while.

Mr. Van and I purchased this little plaque quite a long time ago—maybe fifteen or twenty years. The words state what we believed together about how we should live our couple life, our family life, and our individual lives.

Our life together wasn’t full of all kinds of extreme adventures—we were more inclined to live one day at a time, with common goals and dreams, and to plod along as they became reality. But that doesn’t mean that we didn’t take risks in accepting challenges along the way that required change, new skills, and adaptation. We did live our life to the full and I am so grateful for every moment we had together.

We are approaching Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada, and even though joy and sorrow continue to reside together within my heart in deep ways, there are just so many reasons to thank God for His faithfulness and care over all the years.

Your Musings:

  • Can you think of times when God has asked you to step back from something you’ve been doing, or when He has called you to step out into something new?
  • Have you ever taken some time to consider what it is that you really value in your life and then planned your life around those values?
  • How’s your approach to your daily life as you face the challenges that God offers you? Do you take risks or do you run away from them? There is a time for both.

Perhaps you’ve never considered that God might even have an opinion about what you care the most about.

Or maybe you have wondered what He thinks but didn’t know how to figure it all out.

Or maybe you should be the one writing this post because you have wrestled it through and made the hard choices to live according to what is most important to you.

Whichever place you are in, you are welcome here.

Come and walk with us, learn with us, and grow with us. We would love to have you along.

I close with Psalm 92:12-15 from The Message. This Psalm applies to you no matter your age or stage of life. Be blessed and encouraged as you read God’s Words to us today:

“The righteous flourish like the palm tree and grow like a cedar in Lebanon. They are planted in the house of the LORD; they flourish in the courts of our God. They still bear fruit in old age; they are ever full of sap and green, to declare that the LORD is upright; He is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in Him.”

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving!!

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Reframing Wisely…

In her book, Pursue the Intentional Life, Jean Fleming wrote a chapter called “Wise Reframing: Keeping My Core in Life’s Transitions.” According to my Merriam-Webster dictionary, to reframe is

“to frame (something) again and often in a different way to be open to the view: to reveal.”

Jean Fleming, Pursue the Intentional Life

Jean has a lot of wisdom to share with us in this book—it is one of the first ones we read and discuss briefly in our course for women, Heart2Heart, Becoming a Woman of Strength and Dignity. We will look at it in more detail in the days to come. For now I wanted to briefly focus on some of her thoughts in this chapter that have really resonated with me as I consider the recent changes in my life into widowhood and so into my future places. Perhaps you have some questions about your future days as well as we transition back to whatever “normal” life might look like at this time.

Again, I don’t know where you are coming from as you read this post:

  • You may believe in God as your Audience of One, sovereign and so in charge of every detail of your life. You are growing to know Him personally and you believe that His words to us in the Bible are true and worth hearing and following. You also believe that God’s Big Story of the history of the universe includes your part in that story.
  • Or you may have heard of the Bible and something about God but you don’t really understand why it is so important and what difference it would make in your life to know and follow Him.
  • Or you may have never been exposed to any teaching about God and sometimes, as you lay your head on the pillow at night, you wonder what it’s all about and what’s ahead of us.

Our Core

So what does it mean to keep our “core”, in the midst of all that life brings our way everyday? Our core is the inmost and most intimate part of ourself, and it needs to be focused and stable no matter what, when, where, why, or how. We will all live through many stages of life, and we will experience both joy and sorrow, courage and fear, good and evil, highs and lows, and much else in each one. There is always something new to learn on a journey of reframing/intentionality.

Isaiah 33:5,6 from the Bible says,

“Reframing means keeping what is important but wisely reconfiguring as necessary.”

At some point in our life we need to come to an initial place of choosing what is most important to us and then living according to what we decide. I believe that God has a plan for my life and for your life that He made before He even created us.

Psalm 139 is a wonderful chapter in the Book of Psalms in the Bible that tells us how God planned our days.

Verse 16 says:

Our Perspective

I have been in a place of reframing my whole life as I begin to consider what my future is going to look like. Over these next weeks I would like to walk with you through some areas of life that give us a framework to consider what needs to change, to evolve, and to grow us into the person God intends for us to be.

We are going to consider all of this from the perspective of what it could look like:

  • TO PONDER about what is an intentional life.
  • TO PREPARE to live an intentional life.
  • TO PRACTICE living an intentional life.
  • TO PRODUCE a life that is faithful and fruitful, God-honoring and people-loving for all our days.

My Musings This Week

One way that I have had to “reframe” my life—to reconfigure out of necessity—is in my gardening techniques. Jean talks about how we need to adjust in different life stages to how we do the things we love in smaller and simpler ways, instead of giving them up totally. We pull in the boundaries where God directs because it is not our passion that has diminished, but our strength.

Our former home which was sold last summer (more about the reframing of it soon) was situated on a half-acre of land. I moved to a condo which is just the right size but now my gardening area is reduced to a balcony. I love my flowers. They bring joy to my heart. I have many photos of my flowers over the years so I can still enjoy those but I also decided that I was going to continue to have a space to enjoy them now if I could figure out a system. So this is what my flower garden looks like this year…

Another aspect of wisely reframing Jean discusses is to live in reality. We have to accept the fact that life expands and contracts, and so some things and some persons we love may be stripped from us.

Tonight we are going to celebrate Grandson #7’s fourth birthday and Grandpa Van will not be there. All our grandchildren bring so much joy to our family, and they all loved Grandpa a lot as he did them. We will miss having him there to celebrate with us, but we know that he is in a safe and healthy place and that brings us comfort. He would want us to celebrate all the milestones just like we always have, and so we will…

Next week we will celebrate Grandson #4’s Graduation from high school! So much to be thankful for…

Your Musings This Week

To BEGIN is to set in motion…

  • PONDER WHAT IS TRUE in your life that is or needs reframing? Obtain a journal or a notebook where you can write your observations down. Begin a list.
  • PREPARE one thing you can do to begin that process. Ask God to show you what a next step could be. Maybe outline three steps, if appropriate, to begin to put that reframing in motion. Write them down.
  • PRACTICETo choose to reframe something in your life is to take a step towards being more intentional. What does the first of those three steps require? Perhaps seeking God’s wisdom about what He wants for you is the first step?
  • How do you find out?
  • Seek His wisdom by reading His words to you in the Bible. So let’s look at the Book of Psalms (open your Bible to the middle and Psalms should be nearby) and read Psalm One this week. Blessed is the man who… If you don’t have a physical Bible, perhaps download the YouVersion Bible app and read on your device. As you read, look for what the words tell you about Who God is. A great first step in wise reframing.
  • PRODUCE-What is God saying will happen in your life if you are a blessed person? Write it down and then re-read Psalm One every day this week to reinforce what God is saying to you. Take your time and let it all simmer, right down into your heart, your soul, your mind and your strength.

Blessings on you this week—enjoy your walk…

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